Shitty Religions

TAOISM: Shit happens.
HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens rama rama ding ding.
HINDUISM: This shit happened before.
ISLAM: If shit happens, take a hostage.
ZEN: What is the sound of one shit happening?
ATHEISM: No shit.
BUDDHISM: When shit happens, is it really shit?
CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "shit happens."
7TH DAY ADVENTIST: Shit happens on Saturdays.
PROTESTANTISM: Shit won't happen if I work harder.
CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, I deserve it.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESS: Knock, knock, "shit happens."
UNITARIAN: What is this shit?
MORMON: Shit happens again & again & again.
JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happen to me?
RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit